Heya people of the interwebz, Ricky D. here.

Sorry for no new drawings or any recent activity lately, I've been real worried and, thought days have been becoming hotter and awakening my will to draw lately, very burnout-y and busy trying to focus on real life issues across my family and myself, including trying to find a way to balance between fun and work.

Lately I've been feeling unmotivated because one of my grandparents has fallen extremely ill with pneumonia at 81 and the doctors are trying their best to cure him. Right now he has lost weight beyond belief, he was a fat old man. He also lacked a kidney and had many problems like hypertension, diabetes and cholesterol. He is with big chance of death, yet we cling to God that he survives to see my brother marry.

I can't imagine such thing to happen, even though I pray that it DOESN'T happen, even in a slim chance. I know he would be really weak, needing to walk again though physiotherapy, but at least it would be a miracle for him to be with me for a couple of years, as a family we are.

He is the reason I started playing games on a computer, and the reason I got introduced to the World Wide Web.

Flash games, Youtube videos and animations, Newgrounds, cheat codes for San Andreas, Windows XP, PowerPoint presentations, shitty shady games I'd download from ads that I'd enjoy as a kid like The Rise of Atlantis, Mario Forever and the like, MS Paint and PC gaming as a whole.

He is a part of my childhood that I cannot never take it off. Him dying would be sending my depression into a downward spiral, making me crying inside since I just can't physically cry, no matter how much I try in the right times. I have ASD thanking for fucking with my whole life for that...

I need time to see what happens and, if it eventually does, a brief period of reflection and time away from posting, just doodling in my notebook.

'till then. I'll see you soon. Peace out, bros and brodettes.

PS: Slowly I am doing something, but it hurts so much right now to continue... Should I stop it for a while?

-Ricky D.